The Two Sides of a Coin(2)

“It is a lovely name. I guess most the babies you people have are girls?”

“All of them are girls.”

I felt shamed and tried to explained defensively, “You know, traditional Chinese people like boys more than girls ----”

“Yeah, we know, boys can do lots of heavy jobs, carry on the name, and boys can look after them when they are old.”

“Wow, you know a lot about Chinese history!”

“Thanks, I just read some books before we came to China”

“Why do you want to adopt a Chinese baby?”

“We want to have a baby, so we found the agency in our country and through it we are able to find Chuchu in China. It took us two years to finally arrive here.”

I was wondering why they did not have their own baby, but I was afraid it was a question too personal to ask, “I guess she must be very precious to you, because you take two years to find her.”

“Yes, indeed. And your English is very good.”

“Of course, you know I teach English in college.” I didn’t feel pleased by the praise; I did not need others to confirm my English level, but I felt embarrassed the moment I blurted out the sentence, I should say thank you. But they didn’t seem to mind, so I just carried on the conversation. “May I ask where you are from?” The mother told me a name unknown to me, seeing my confusing look, she added: “We come from New York.” “New York city or New York State?” I wondered, but decided to ignore it. I was more concerned how they plan to bring up the little girl.

“Are you going to let Chuchu learn Chinese when she is older?”

“We plan to, there are lots of Chinese language schools in the city, you know, especially in some Chinese towns, we want her to know the different cultures and make good use of the mixed cultures.”

“Do you plan to learn Chinese so that you can communicate with her in Chinese?”

“Probably, it depends, we know Chinese is very difficult to learn.”

“I guess Chuchu must be very lucky, she can have you two to be her parents, otherwise her life will be misery without the love of parents.”

“We are lucky to have her as our daughter, too.”

While we were talking, other couples either looked at us friendly or smilingly, or just took care of the little need of their baby, the look on their faces were beautiful with so much love, care and tenderness. All the others were in their 30s, the couple I was talking with might be the oldest one among the whole group. I wanted to know what kind of requirements were needed to adopt a Chinese baby, but didn’t know how to start. Instead, I began the causal talk.

“So how long have you been in Changsha?”

“Four days. First we should go to the orphanage to find our baby, get familiar with her, and then we have some time to do some sightseeing.”

“Do you like what you see in this city?”

“Yeah, the city is beautiful.”

Just then the guild announced the end of the rest; it was the time for them to go for the next historic spot. I wished them good luck and hoped they would enjoy their trip in China.

My feeling to this encounter was quite complex, I felt happy for those little girls, after being deserted by their biological parents just because they were girls, they met people who would pay some high price, both in money and time, to become their parents. I admired the big heart in these American couples; they offered their love and affection to these poor, abandoned girls. I had experienced the same feeling when I knew many New York people volunteered to line up in front of the blood station to denote blood after the tragedy in Sep 11th last year. On the other hand, I was much ashamed for those parents who could desert their own child just because she happened to a girl, only cruel and heartless people could do such things.

When I told this story to my friends, some of them have this unexpected reaction: “Good luck for those girls, at least they don’t have to pass TOEFL or GRE when they grow up.” Hearing this, I was speechless.

note:

This story is based on the true story I experienced in the summer vacation this year, I could remember the main idea of our conversation but not in the detail, the actual talk lasted for more 15 minutes.

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